Kindred Spirits
by TheDarkestHours
Summary: Teddy and Meredith bond over loss, motherhood, children, visits to the playground and a lot of cookies. *ON HIATUS*
1. Chapter 1

*****ENGLISH IS NOT MY LANGUAGE*****

 **This came up after seeing the promotional pictures of the next episode of Grey's, basically it'll be a bunch of little moments between the apparent new friendship between Meredith and Teddy (I'm so excited) this has nothing to do with my other fic "I Believe in Fate" (which will be updated really soon) this is developed in its own universe.**

 **It was supposed to be small drabbles, but I didn't have much luck with that, once I start writing I can't stop, but I promise, I promise that in the future I'll try to make my chapters much, much shorter, I feel that I annoy you all with my long chapters.**

 **Anyway, as I said this will be centered on Teddy/Meredith, what happens outside of those moments will only be mentioned.**

 **A/N: I've** _NEVER_ **written Meredith, I'm not familiarized with the character so it may sound OOC, my apologies in advance, but I'll try to do my best. Observations (made kindly) will be infinitely appreciated.**

* * *

 ** _New Beginings_**

It was almost noon, Meredith had asked me to meet us in the playground of a park near her house, I still don't know why I accepted, although maybe it was only because I felt cornered, somehow she learned my secret and although she didn't want to tell who was the person who told her it wasn't very difficult to guess. Maggie Pierce had broken her HIPAA oath, but I would deal with that later, for the moment I'll just listen to whatever Meredith has to say to me and then I'll go back to my refuge from which I hadn't left in the last days until today... Owen's mother house... ironic I know, but the old woman had always been like a mother to me, always watching over me, always careful of me, always asking Owen where and how I was, always being a mother, the mother that I never had.

After leaving the hospital I felt lost, I had nowhere to go, I started walking the streets of Seattle and when I least expected it I was knocking at the door of Evelyn Hunt, with a suitcase in each hand and red and swollen eyes from so much crying. When she opened the door I didn't know what to say, I just threw myself to her arms crying like a girl, like a little girl who needed her mother's comfort and that was what Evelyn had given in these days, comfort, love, care. I hadn't told her about the baby yet, her grandson, the excuse I had given her about my presence in Seattle was that I was fleeing from a failed relationship in Germany and that the blood clot was only a side effect of the long trip and the long surgery I had in the same day. But to tell the truth what Owen and I had wasn't even a relationship, anyway, I know that Evelyn is not stupid, she, after Owen, knows me better than anyone and based on the way she sometimes looks at me I feel that she knows the truth, that she can read it through my face, through my eyes or just when she hears me crying at night, or when she comes in to tuck me up thinking I'm asleep and I don't realize, while caressing my hair and whispering _"Everything will be fine, child"._ I know that to stay longer with her I'll have to tell her the whole truth, but I don't think that will be necessary, the blood clot has practically disappeared so I don't have much else to do in the city.

While I wait for Meredith to arrive I watch the mothers and the children play, that will be me in a short time. Maybe I'll be like that mom sitting next to the stroller, or like the one next to her watching her little daughter play in the jungle gym, or like the one who runs after her son because he doesn't want to leave the playground.

"Hey, I hope I didn¿t make you wait too long." Meredith's voice breaks with my daydream.

"Oh, not at all, I just got here." I answer and then uncomfortable silence, we both look into each other's eyes, but neither says anything. "You can sit if you like, or do you prefer that we go somewhere else?" I said after the silence becomes too uncomfortable.

"No, here is perfect." She sits next to me.

"So... what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I know you're pregnant." She tells me directly and bluntly, typical of Meredith.

I let out a humorless laugh. "I see that news keep traveling fast at the Grey Sloan."

"Look, I know Maggie shouldn't..."

"Then it was her who told you." I interrupt her and by her expression I seem to be more aggressive than usual, at least of what is _"normal"_ for Meredith.

"She made a mistake, but..."

"That wasn't a mistake, that was a felony. You are a doctor for God's sake! You know that doctor-patient confidentiality is the base of our career!"

"I know, I know and Maggie is willing to deal with the consequences, but... Are you willing to deal with them too?"

"It wasn't me who broke the law by revealing confidential information about my patient".

"You know I don't mean that, Teddy."

Silence. I take a deep breath and avoid looking into her eyes, focusing my attention on the children who play in the jungle gym.

"When I found out I was pregnant with Ellis I felt like my world was falling apart... it had been only a few weeks since Derek's death, Bailey was just a baby and Zola... my poor Zola, she didn't understand what was happening... There wasn't a day when I didn't imagine Derek's face when I told him we would have another child, unfortunately that moment will stay there forever, in my imagination... I never had the chance to tell Derek that he would be a father again, that we would have a child, I never saw his face and his eyes light up with joy in every ultrasound like he did with Bailey, I never heard his laugh when Ellis took his first steps like he did when Zola walked for the first time... I didn't have and I will not have that opportunity anymore. Do you have an idea how much does that hurt?"

"If you try to imply that I shouldn't take away Owen's _'happiness'_." I quote with my fingers. "Is not the same".

"Why not? It's his child, you better than anyone else knows how much Owen has always wanted a child".

"It's not the same and you know it, Meredith. Derek would have jumped to the roof shouting with joy, but this will only bring problems... When I learned of my pregnancy my world also collapsed... I was terrified and in one way or another I found the courage to come and tell Owen everything, but... Don't you realize that this could ruin your sister's relationship with Owen?!"

Meredith looked into my eyes with an almost imperceptible smile. "Look... Amelia is happy; it's been a while since I've seen her so happy... I don't know what they have, but they're happy and from what I can see you don't want anything with Owen... Teddy, from experience I can tell you that you don't need a man to raise a child, you don't need Owen, but what you do need is to tell him he's going to be a father... don't do it for him, not for you, do it for your child, he or she will thank you in the future".

"What you suggest is a purely co-parental relationship?"

"Why not? Unless that is not what you want and..."

"No, that's exactly what I want, what I don't want is to cause problems... I'm afraid that this news could ruin whatever Owen and Amelia have".

"If they are mature and intelligent enough they will understand that this happened when they were not together and that your child deserves to know who its father is".

We stay a few minutes in silence, only the laughter of the children, the birds chirping and the air can be heard. Meredith is right, I don't want anything with Owen, but my child does deserve to know who its father is. I sigh deeply.

"I'll tell Owen". I mumble without turning to see her.

"It's the best you can do".

And I can feel the weight of her hand over mine.

* * *

 **Make sure to read the second part ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

_*******_ **ENGLISH IS NOT MY LANGUAGE*****

* * *

 ** _You've Got a Friend in Me_**

After talking for a long time in the park Meredith invited me to her house, I don't know why I accepted, we were never friends, she was never my student, she is Amelia's sister! But somehow it feels good, we both talked about a lot of things and I could see that we have more things in common than I thought so I accepted the invitation to their house, we would make lunch together while the children arrived from school… she got me when mentioning children.

I never had a relationship with children, I've no siblings nor nephews or nieces and my pediatric patients have been very few, so just thinking about being able to spend a few hours with children warms my heart, makes me want to have my child in my arms, but for that there are a few months left.

When we arrived at the house I can't help but hesitate about whether to come in or not and apparently Meredith felt my hesitation.

"You can come in without worries, this is not a trap, I'm not going to shut you up in the basement to torture you".

It is enough for me to see her smile to know that I'm welcome and I've nothing to worry about. This is the second time in my life that I set a foot in this house; the first time it was a Christmas, Arizona and Richard sang while Owen played the guitar and we stole glances. Remembering that made my heart flip, _"No Teddy, not now,"_ I scold myself. The place is very changed, what used to be a "frat house" as Callie called it is now a home, there are toys scattered throughout the living room and I can't help but smile, my home will probably look like this in a few months.

"So... Do you know to cook?" Meredith asks me as we head to the kitchen where not only are there more toys, there are drawings stuck on the refrigerator door, small plates with images of cartoons and sippy cups.

"The truth? No, but I think I've to learn sooner or later, but I know how to bake though"

"It's okay, you'll get the hang of it. Sorry for the disaster, but breakfast time is always... crazy".

I chuckle. "It's fine, probably that's how my kitchen will look like in a few months."

"Oh, believe me, that's how it'll be. There will be bottles and pacifiers even in the bathroom".

"Well, thanks for making me feel a little less scared about motherhood".

"You'll do amazing... if you could with Cristina a newborn will be a piece of cake". We can't help but laugh loudly.

"Believe it or not I miss her, she was the best partner I've had in the OR after..." I shut up abruptly and thank God I don't need to say more, immediately Meredith knew who I was referring to and immediately tried to change the conversation.

"So! What do you think if we start? Children will arrive at any time".

"I don't know you tell me. I'm your student now".

And indeed, this time it is her who tells me what to do, what to cut, how to cut, when to cook the vegetables, how to season the salmon and how long to leave it on the grill. Not long after the door opens with a loud bang followed by shouts and laughter of children.

"Mommy!" Zola and a little boy who I assume is Bailey shouts and run to hug Meredith, behind them the babysitter comes in with little Ellis in her arms who stretches her small body towards her mom, she doesn't hesitate to hug her too, the nanny says goodbye quickly, greets me and leaves.

"How was school?"

"Amazing". Zola says.

"Good". Bailey replied. "And who are you?" The little boy asked me after greeting his mother.

"Bailey, manners!" Meredith scolded him.

"Oh, it's fine". I replied laughing softly. "I'm Teddy Altman."

"Your name is beautiful and you are beautiful too." Zola tells me with a smile.

"Aww, thank you, you are beautiful too. I love your pigtails".

"Teddy is not a name." Little Bailey added with a frown. "That's a toy name, like Ellie's Teddy Bear." We all laugh

"Well, then I have a toy name.".

"That's so weird... but who are you? Are you friends with mom? I've never seen you here".

"Oh my God, Bailey!" Meredith exclaimed.

"He certainly lives up to his name, both names." I add laughing. "I am… I…" And I realize that I do not know what I am. A guest? Before I could say anything else, Meredith goes ahead to answer her son.

"She's Mommy's new friend." She smiles at me in such a sweet way that suddenly I feel like crying, I can only return a smile. "She's a cardio surgeon, like auntie Maggie."

"Wow! I love making new friends, I made three new friends on my first day of school." Zola tells me.

"Really? Then I hope that you and I could be friends too".

"YES!" Exclaims the little girl with a huge smile that makes my heart explode, she is so beautiful.

"Can I also be your friend?" Little Bailey asks me a little shyly.

"I'd be delighted." The little one approaches me and beckons me with his small hand to get close to him, then whispers in my ear. "I'm sorry about your name, it's not a toy name, it's a very pretty name." I'm not sure if I'll be able to leave Meredith's house without first shedding some tears, I just limit myself to combing Bailey's blond hair with my hands.

"Ok, ok, you can ask your new friend more questions while we eat, the food is getting cold." I get up to help Meredith serve the dishes, but she immediately orders me to sit down. "Oh, no, no, you're my guest, sit down!" I obey and take my seat with a smile while she serves the food on the plates and places them on the table, all with one hand while with her other arm holds little Ellis sitting on her hip, the little girl looks at me curiously while sucking her thumb and hiding her small head in his mother's neck.

We all sit down at the table to eat and everything is chats, laughter, screams until I begin to feel my stomach become restless, I caress my belly gently and breathe deeply through my nose expecting to calm my uneasiness but then a shuddering chill runs down from head to my toes and my skin crawls.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asks me with a concerned expression.

"Where is your bathroom?" I manage to ask before swallowing.

"Oh, right here around the corner, under the stairs".

Without saying anything else I get up and run to the bathroom where I vomit. In the last few days the nausea had subsided, but even from time to time they gave me uncomfortable moments. When I return to the kitchen I can hear how little Zola asks Meredith about me.

"Is she sick, Mommy?" I walk into the kitchen before she can answer.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes thanks. I hope this is over soon".

"It will. How is it treating you? You know".

"Worse than I expected during the first months, but it has improved a lot." I answer timidly.

"I'm glad". Meredith answers me with a sweet smile giving me a squeeze in the hand.

" Is someone fighting you?" Little Bailey asks me; Meredith and I turned to at each other and I don't know what to say, I'm afraid that if the children find out they can say something to Amelia and therefore to Owen, I've decided to tell Owen, but I haven't yet planned when nor how, the fact of knowing that he can find out earlier than planned terrifies me.

"Oh no darling, no one is fighting Teddy, it's just..." Meredith doesn't know what to say either.

Whatever... "There's a baby." Meredith looks at me with wide eyes but the words are already out of my mouth. "T-there's a baby in my belly and that baby is making me feel sick." The shock on Meredith's face makes me think that it wasn't a good idea to tell the kids about this, but unfortunately I can't take my words back.

"Are you having a baby? I love babies!" Little Zola exclaims with her eyes wide open. "Can it be my friend too?"

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Adds Bailey.

"But you don't have a baby belly." Zola says looking at me curiously.

Suddenly I feel overwhelmed with so many questions and again Meredith sees my uneasiness. "Ok, ok children, calm down, you ask too many questions!"

"But I love babies, mommy! Can you have another baby? I want another baby". Zola begs with a cute pout

"Oh no my love, no more babies for me... but if Teddy wants, you can see her baby when it is born".

"Can I?" Zola asks me, again with that beautiful smile. How can I say no?

"Of course you can". I respond by gently pinching one of her cheeks.

"Yay! And is it a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know yet, it's still very small".

"Yes, you don't look pregnant." Meredith and I laugh. "When you know what it is, can we make a party?"

"A party?" Her mother and I ask in unison.

"Yes Mommy, a party... there are parties to announce to friends if the baby is a boy or a girl".

Meredith and I looked at each other in amazement. "When did you learn so many things, Zo-Zo?" The little one just smiles broadly.

"Can we? Say yes, Teddy, say yes". Zola begs me.

"Yes, Teddy, say yes". Little Bailey adds while Ellis just repeats _"Yes, yes, yes"_ and claps at the same time.

Without realizing my eyes are filled with tears, indeed, I wasn't going to leave Meredith's house without shedding tears, luckily they were tears of happiness.

"I'd love to have a party with my new friends." I said with a trembling voice and the children celebrate with a shrill " _YES_ ".

"But hey, children! Attention!" Meredith says and the children immediately shut up and put all their attention on their mother. "The baby daddy still doesn't know he or she is on the way, it's a surprise, so we can't say anything to anyone until its daddy knows it first. Are we? It's a surprise! Can you promise me?"

"We promise you mommy!" Exclaim Zola and Bailey in unison and little Ellis just nods; She is so beautiful, I suddenly feel the need to hold her tight and cuddle her in my arms, since I knew I would be a mother I had never been interested in my baby's sex, I just wanted him or her to be healthy, but now, strangely, I want it to be a little girl, a little blond or redhead girl, with green or blue eyes, I don't care, but a girl... if it is a boy I'll also be completely grateful, but I know that from now on and until the day I know the sex of the baby I won't be able to visualize myself if it is not with a little girl in my arms. _"Soon I'll know"_ I think as I place my hands on my belly.


	3. Chapter 3

_*****ENGLISH ISN'T MY LANGUAGE*****_

* * *

 **Thank you very much for your incredible response to this fic, I must confess that I was a little nervous about how you would take it because we still don't know if a friendship will actually form between Teddy and Meredith, and also because I've never written Meredith. But I'm glad you liked it, it keeps me motivated and thinking about more little moments between them and the children. Do you think there'll be a real friendship between them?**

* * *

 _ **Call Me If You Need Me**_

The rest of the day and until after 7:00 p.m. Meredith, the children and I spent time baking chocolate cookies. Meredith had no idea how the cookies were baked so this time it was my turn to teach her. I felt so weird but so happy at the same time, we were like the typical cliche cooking program where moms baked delicious cakes while beautiful kids helped to break the eggs and pour the milk into the bowl for the cake mix, my life is far from perfect, the shadows of the past and the fear of the future still hover in my head from time to time making me zone out or lose the thread of the conversation, luckily Meredith is quite compressive, I never imagined that of all the people she would be who would offer me a hand in these moments in which I needed support and a friend to show me which was the right way so I allowed myself to enjoy this moment.

Zola, Bailey and I were decorating cookies in the kitchen when Meredith came back to join us, had gone to put the smallest of her clan down to sleep.

"Poor Ellis, this day was quite exciting for her, she fell deeply asleep".

"I'm loving this day, mommy!" Zola said without turning to see her mom and focusing all her attention on the little flower she was drawing on her cookie with blue cream, once the last petal was done she turned to me. "Can you come over tomorrow to bake more cookies? I want to take these to my teacher, but I also want to take some to my friends".

"Why don't you come every day?!" Bailey asked with his mouth full of cookies.

"Oh then we'll soon have our own cookie business". Meredith jokes with the children as she shakes off the flour from their heads and clothes. "Look at you two! It seems that I took you out of the sack of flour".

"I'm so sorry, Meredith, it was my fault." I apologize, I'm so embarrassed, now she will probably have to bathe the children before taking them to bed.

"Oh no, it's ok! It's part of the job, isn't it? My little bakers".

"When I grow up I want to be a baker!" Bailey said while kneading the dough with the wooden rolling pin making us all laugh.

"Didn't you tell me you wanted to be a cardio surgeon like me?"

"Oh, and a few days ago he told me he wanted to be a neurosurgeon like his dad". Meredith added.

"I can be the three things." The boy answered unconcerned making us laugh again. I don't remember when it was the last time I laughed so much in my life... well, I remember it. _That_ night I had also laughed as I hadn't laughed in my life for a long time, but that moment seemed so distant, like a dream, like something that had happened to someone else and not to me.

"So can you come over tomorrow?" Zola asked me and I really didn't know what to say, if it depended on me I'd spend every day with that beautiful trio of children, learning from them, preparing myself for the future, but literally hours ago that Meredith and I had established this new friendly relationship, I still didn't feel comfortable enough to take those kinds of decisions.

"I'll come every time you invite me, but I'm afraid tomorrow I've a commitment".

"Is it with your baby's daddy? Are you going give him the surprise?" If only the " _surprise_ " was as good as the little girl made it sound with her huge smile.

"Oh no, it's not that... it's... I've to go to the doctor, I've to see how my baby is doing".

"Do you already have a doctor here in Seattle?" Meredith asks me. "If you want, I can recommend you a very good OB-GYN".

"The truth is that no, since before leaving Germany I haven't had any other ultrasound or medical checkup". I answer and apparently without realizing it I sound worried, Meredith reaches my hand and wraps it with hers.

"Easy, everything will be fine". I smiled at her and looked down at my belly while I rubbing it gently.

"Can I see your tummy?" Zola asks me.

"I-I... well, it's not very big yet". I answer sheepishly

"Let me see". She gets up from her seat and stands next to me, I frame my little belly with both hands and I stick it out to make it look a little bigger, it feels odd, odd and good, I never imagined what I would look like as my belly grows and I must say that I like it, somehow it makes everything more real. "I can touch it?"

"Sure!" The little girl places her hands on my belly and begins to rub it gently.

"Woooow!" It's all Zola says with a huge smile, her bright eyes dancing in amazement and looking at me and her mother who also smiles.

"Look, our second fallen baker". Meredith whispers when she realizes that little Bailey has fallen asleep with his head lying on the table and hugged tightly the wooden roller which he didn't let go all day, taking care knead the dough that was then cut and decorated by Zola and Ellis, put on the tray by Meredith and then by me in the oven.

"I'll take him to bed and when I return it'll be your turn, Zo-Zo".

"But Mommy...!"

I can't help feeling guilty for the fact that Zola is about to throw a tantrum to go to sleep, I address the girl and take her by both hands looking into her eyes. "Hey, it's time to sleep, Zo. I'll go to sleep too, it's been a long day and I need to rest… the baby needs to rest too". I tell her placing her little hand in my belly.

"Ok... Mommy wait! I'm coming with you". Before she leaves she throws herself in my arms and gives me the sweetest hug I've received in a long time. "Goodnight Teddy". Then she put her face in front of my belly and whispers. "Goodnight baby".

"Goodnight Zo". It's all I can say, if a keep talking I'll burst into tears.

Meredith takes Bailey in her arms and Zola follows them close behind. While Meredith returns I start to pick up everything in the kitchen and by the time she's back in the kitchen I've already cleaned everything.

"You didn't have to do that".

"Of course I had to, you have enough work with the children and your own work and the cookies was my idea".

She smiles at me and takes a cookie. "By the way they are delicious, you have to leave me the recipe".

"Sure!" The silence falls on us and for a moment I feel somewhat uncomfortable without the children as a buffer, I don't know Meredith very well, I don't know what she likes to talk about, I don't know how her sense of humor is, but after all we're just starting our friendship, isn't it? Surely with time I'll get to know her more and vice versa. "So... I think it's time for me to go to sleep, suddenly I feel exhausted".

"Yes! You should totally go to sleep; it's been a long day".

"And a funny day... thank you very much Meredith, thank you for allowing me to spend this day with your children and thank you for offering me a hand, I really needed it and I didn't expect it from you so... thank you".

"You have nothing to thank me for, I know what it is to need someone in a moment like this". She says with a warm smile pointing at my belly.

"Yes, I know, well... I've to go".

Before leaving Meredith puts a few cookies in a paper bag and walks with me to the door to say goodbye.

"Before you leave I want to tell you that I mean it when I said you were my new friend, I admired you so much when I was a resident but now that I know we have things in common I want to know you as a friend so really, don't hesitate to call me when you feel necessary... no matter what no matter when, call me if one day you just want to talk and vent, or if you need someone to accompany you to the doctor or to the Lamaze classes or if you have any doubt about the pregnancy or if you want to see the children, whatever, really, just call me".

A huge knot that has formed in my throat prevents me from saying a single word, my eyes begin to cloud with tears and when Meredith opens her arms to me I don't hesitate twice to hug her. "Thank you, thank you very much". I repeat with a shaking voice.

After our long and tight embrace I turn around to leave when suddenly I have an idea, or rather, a request. "Meredith! Would you... would you help me set an appointment with Owen?"

She smiles warmly at me. "Count on it, I'll talk to him and I'll let you know the details".

"Thanks again".

"Good night... and take good care of that baby".

I laugh and immediately upon hearing the word _baby_ I put my hand on my belly. "Good night Meredith".


	4. Chapter 4

*****ENGLISH ISN'T MY LANGUAGE*****

 **I'm so grateful for the response to this fic that I could cry like Teddy while she was telling Maggie about the hormones, Germany and the man she loved.**

* * *

 _Lean on me, when you're not strong_ _  
_ _and I'll be your friend_ _,_ _I'll help you carry on_ _  
_ _for it won't be long_ _'til I'm gonna need_ _  
_ _somebody to lean on…_

* * *

True to her word in a matter of days Meredith arranged a meeting between Owen and me. At first it was a bit difficult, Owen asked questions that Meredith couldn't and didn't want to answer and he threatened not to come to the meeting if she didn't tell him what I wanted to talk to him, but I knew it was just that, threats, I know Owen more than what he thinks, I knew he would end up yielding, he always wants to have control of things and I knew that the idea of him not knowing what I wanted to talk about would end up in him agreeing to see me.

While I wait for Meredith to arrive for me I sit at the kitchen table to have a tea, my stomach feels so restless and even though it's been days since the last time I vomited, nausea still made me gag constantly, although in reality I don't know if at this moment the nausea is due to the fact that I am extremely nervous to talk to Owen, to the pregnancy itself or a mixture of both.

I was still lost in my thoughts when Evelin came into the kitchen, her voice and the weight of her hand on my shoulder made me jolt a little.

"That tea is horribly cold, honey." She sits in front of me and takes my hand in her hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, lately you've been very withdrawn, you're not like that."

I smiled softly. "Oh, it's nothing… I'm just tired, that's all." She smiles at me and I know from her expression that she doesn't believe me.

"Give me here, let me reheat that tea."

"Oh no its ok, I'm going out, I'm waiting for someone to come for me... I... I have an appointment."

"For work?"

"No, it's... it's just, I... I'll go to the doctor."

"To the OB-GYN?"

"W-what? How do you…?"

"How do I know? Honey, I know you, you've always been so thin and small and now you have that little belly out of nowhere, you love coffee and now you only drinks water or tea, you always leave food on the plate but now you eat as if you had been fasting for days, not to mention the times I've heard you throwing up and how you gag when a smell is too intense... honey, I was pregnant twice, I'm a nurse, I know what a pregnancy looks like… and you can't keep your hands off of your belly." She adds with a sweet smile.

I couldn't do more than down my head ashamed and play with my hands in my lap. "Evelyn I..." just as I was about to confess everything to Evelyn my cell phone rings, it's Meredith letting me know she's waiting for me outside. "I-I'm sorry I've to go".

I say goodbye to Evelyn and before leaving through the door she tells me. "Owen will understand, sweetheart." I return a sad smile and I leave before bursting into tears in front of the old woman.

I go out to the street quickly wiping the tears that managed to roll down my cheeks, I don't want Meredith to realize that I had cried. She has really been a friend with me since _that_ day, asking me daily how I am and how I feel and I must confess that I like it, there came a moment in my life when I suddenly found myself without friends; I left the ones I had in Germany to come back to USA and once here I realized that Arizona was no longer in Seattle. So it took no time for my heart to get attached, yes, I'm attached of my new friend Meredith Grey.

I got into her car and greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

"You were crying." Meredith tells me and by the tone I can say that it was more an affirmation than a question.

"I did not!". I answer and not even I can believe it, much less Meredith. She chuckles.

"Easy, Owen is in the best disposition to talk to you and you know him, you know how to deal with him."

"Yes, but is not every day that I tell him that I'm pregnant with his child and that I almost went back to Germany without saying anything. I don't know how to handle something like that!"

"Ok you've a point... but it's a baby, a baby is always good news, isn't it?"

"It's good news when it's something planned and expected, not when it's the product of a one night stand with your ex-best friend and now you're in another relationship with your ex-wife raising a teenager and her son."

Meredith winces and after a few seconds in silence neither of us can help laughing. "I don't know why I'm laughing at this. It's not even funny!"

The rest of the ride we talked about everything and nothing, trying to distract myself from the fact that I'm about to face Owen and tell him that want it or not we'll be parents in a few months. As soon as Meredith parks the car my hands start to sweat and shake, I hug my belly as if I were protecting my baby from what is about to happen, I don't know how Owen will react, I would know how he would do it under any other circumstance; if we were both together, if we were a couple, but like this? He has already moved on, he has left me in the past and now he is happy in his new life, but Meredith is right, I've to do this for my child.

"Owen sent me a message, he's already in the cafeteria, the reservation is under his name." Meredith says to me and although I listen to her I can't react. "Teddy?"

"I can't do this".

She takes me by the shoulders forcing me to look her in the eyes. "You can do this, you will do your part by telling him the truth, remember that if he doesn't want to be in the life of your child you don't need him... You survived a war! You can raise a baby without his help ... go on and head held up."

I inhale and exhale deeply trying to stabilize my voice and keep the tears at bay. "Thank you".

"Do you want me to wait for you?"

"Would you do that for me?"

"Sure!". My shy smile gives her the answer. "I'll wait for you in the restaurant that is on the corner, take your time, if I have to go I'll send you a message, but meanwhile I'll be there." I give her a quick hug and I turn around, the time has come.

I leave my meeting with Owen feeling all the emotions at the same time; I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm confused, I want to laugh and cry at the same time, I want to punch Owen on the face but at the same time I want to hug him and that he hugs me back, I'm a mess.

I check my cell phone to see if there is any new message from Meredith and I only have one from 10 minutes ago.

 _"I'm still here, I hope everything is going well. Mer "._

I go to the restaurant and she's indeed there. She sees me come in and immediately stands up from her chair, I don't know what my expression is, but apparently it is not the best since her face looks confused. As soon as I'm in front of her I throw myself into her arms crying no matter who sees me. After a moment I feel more calm and we both take our seats.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention." I apologize ashamed.

"It's fine, but what happened?" Meredith asks me in dismay holding my hands.

"I... I don't know, I don't know how I feel, but I think that went okay?"

"What did Owen say?!"

"He was shocked at first, then furious, we both shouted so loud that even a waiter was about to call security."

"WHAT?!"

"But it was nothing, we just... we raised our voice too much, we let the emotions beat us, but then we both calmed down and... I think we're fine now?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"A statement... I think. I made it clear that I don't want him to change his life for me or the baby, that he will be able to see it every time he wants to but that I don't want anything to change in his life and his current relationship."

"You did very well."

"I told him that I don't need him and… I think it hurt him and it made me feel so evil… For a moment I was about to give in and throw myself into his arms, but... I didn't want him to think that I want to tie him with a baby, that I want to change his life."

"That's good! You'll see that with time you both will start to figure things out better and everything will be easier."

"Do you think so?"

"I'm sure!"

"Suddenly I feel so… light? I hadn't realized how much this secret weighed until now."

"And now without that huge weight on your shoulders you'll be more free to enjoy your pregnancy, all this stress wasn't doing you any good".

I smile shyly, she's right, now I'll be free to walk the street without fear of running into Owen, to wear the clothes I wanted without the need to look for something that would hide my belly, suddenly I feel really excited, finally I'll be able to do everything that any pregnant woman does.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes! I'm starving!"

"Then let's order... or not, I've a better idea... How about we have dinner at home with the children?"

How could someone refuse this offer? "I love that idea!"

"Let's go then."

"Meredith... once again thank you very much, I don't know how to thank you for all this you are doing for me... you are really being a great friend"

"Stop apologizing, there's nothing to thank me... now that if you want to pay me you can baby sit the children someday".

"Count on it!"

"I warn you that they are not as little angels as they seem".

We both laughed and left the restaurant, I can already say that this will be an entertaining dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

*****ENGLISH ISN'T MY LAGUAGE*****

 **Ok guys, I know that lately it has taken me more time than usual to update, it isn't only my chaotic life but my muse has been a little lazy in these weeks, but I hope to update soon and as frequent as before.**

 **Something happens that I've hundreds and hundreds of ideas in my head but I can't put them in words and something similar happened with this chapter, I know some of you wanted to see Meredith's POV, but as soon as I sat down to write the words just didn't' flow, I DON'T KNOW how to write from her POV, I'm so used to Teddy and Owen that I don't know how to write other characters,** **I tried to change this chapter to Mer's POV but I felt that it didn't fit, I'm sorry guys, but I'll keep trying, I promise, I added paragraph at the end so you can see that I'm really trying.**

 **For the reasons cited above this chapter may seem a bit** _ **lame**_ **, but I'll be back on track soon. Maybe it's all that's happening in the show that has me so unmotivated, because I have ideas, I just don't feel like writing them.**

 **Anyway, enjoy this little chapter.**

* * *

 _ **Something Beautiful**_

As the days went by as Meredith said, Owen and I began to figure things out little by little, I stayed out of his relationship with Amelia and just talked to him to discuss things related to the baby, no more, but by Meredith I found out that they were starting to have problems and although she assured me that they weren't related to me, that Amelia had told her, I couldn't help feeling guilty, one way or another I came to change all their routine and that gave me even more reasons not to talk to Owen if it was not necessary.

But on the other hand my friendship with Meredith became more intimate every day, I stopped apologizing every time she did something for me and our talks were not only limited to talk about the children or motherhood, we started talking about other things , of love, life, death, how each one endured the death of Derek and Henry, how our losses had changed our vision of life and future, how we move forward and in how from time to time when in the solitude of our rooms we still cry remembering those beautiful moments lived with them, moments that will remain forever in our minds and in our hearts, no matter how much time passes.

Also my interaction with the children was getting easier, I was learning so much from them and I was getting used to the noise, the laughter and the crying. Taking advantage of the fact that I had decided not to work during my pregnancy I used my free time, which was a lot, taking care of the children, in the morning I went to Meredith's house and took them to school, then in the afternoon I went and picked them up, there were times when Meredith and I went together and always came home walking through the park while we ate ice cream and the children talked about what their day at school had been like. Once at home we spent the afternoon playing, watching movies or baking, of course after doing homework.

With Zola I never had problems, she was a very good girl and it wasn't necessary to tell her what to do, she would immediately start doing homework as soon as we got home, she knew that the sooner she finished the sooner we could start watching movies or playing; with Bailey it was another story, as soon as he gained more confidence with me he began to throw tantrums and although there were not many they did get on my nerves, but he wasn't a bad boy, just hyperactive, I guess almost all children are, and with Ellis, oh God, that girl was a little angel, as the days went by she became less shy in my presence, I loved sitting with her on the couch watching Zola and Bailey doing homework while she snuggled up by my side and with her little hands caressed my belly that was growing day by day and not only I was enjoying it, also the children, especially Zola and Ellis who loved to talk with the baby and put their hands on my belly to feel the movements, I still remember when I felt them for the first time.

Meredith, Owen and I had gone to see the apartment I was planning to buy, Owen had insisted on going with me to see the place, he wanted to know where I would live, if it was a safe area, how far away from his home was in case I needed something, etc. I didn't know how to say no, since things started to improve between us he had behaved like a real gentleman always caring of my health and the baby's, I could see that he was happy for the baby and I didn't feel capable to take that happiness away from him; so I asked Meredith if she could accompany us, she immediately knew that I wanted her there as a buffer but even so she agreed.

When we got to the building Owen was already there asking hundreds of questions to the real estate agent.

"Is it you or is Owen the one buying the apartment?" Meredith asked me when we saw the poor woman being bombarded by Owen's questions.

"Believe me, I wouldn't mind if he pays for it." I responded and we both laughed and joined Owen and the agent.

"Meredith! What are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing, Teddy asked me to accompany her."

"Accompany her? Why?"

"Why not?" Meredith replied.

Owen didn't answer, it was clear that this new relationship between Meredith and I was strange to him, most likely given his relationship with Amelia. Even so, Meredith linked her arm with mine and squeezed my hand.

"Calm down, you are here for you and for your child, this will be the place where it'll grow up, where you'll spend birthdays... Christmas".

Just thinking about that made me smile widely and we both walked into the apartment with Owen following us behind. Meredith and I didn't unlink at all, for a moment she was like my lifesaver, I felt that if I let her go I would drown in this suffocating inadequacy that I felt whenever I was alone with Owen.

While we were going through the place a strange sensation in my belly made me come to a halt, letting go of Meredith's arm I leaned on to the nearest wall berating quickly, I was terrified.

"Teddy! What's wrong?" Meredith asked worried, in seconds Owen was beside me equally worried.

"I-I-I don't know... there's something wrong, there's something wrong with the baby... I-I... There's something wrong!"

"Does it hurt?" Meredith asked, placing her hand on my belly.

"No, no, no... it doesn't hurt, I don't know what it is... but I feel there's something wrong!"

"Let's go to the hospital!" Owen said.

"Should I call an ambulance?" The agent asked.

"YES!"

"NO!" Owen and Meredith replied respectively.

"She doesn't feel well! Our baby could be in danger, of course we'll go to the hospital!"

"Ok, calm down everybody! This isn't bad at all. Come, in here, calm, breathe... breathe... inhale... exhale ". Meredith took me by the shoulders and took me to sit on a chair and knelt in front of me. I followed her instructions in tears. "That's it, breathe, breathe. This isn't bad at all". She told me with a tender smile.

"H-how do you know? This... this... doesn't feel good".

"Does it feel like bubbles?" I shook my head "Like butterflies or a little fish?"

"Y-yes... kinda". And I felt it again. "Here it is again!" I took Meredith's hand and placed it on my belly.

"That's not bad... that's your baby moving, feel". She took my other hand and placed them on my belly. "Feel it, it's your baby and it's moving, it's not bad… it's beautiful".

"Is it moving?"

"It is moving".

I looked at Owen with tears in my eyes and a smile. "It's moving; our baby is moving." Meredith stood up giving way to Owen who immediately knelt in front of me placing his hands on my belly and his eyes mirroring mine, full of tears.

 _ **MEREDITH**_

I felt so good helping Teddy to understand what was happening, for a moment it reminded me of myself and that day when I felt little Bailey move for the first time and I panicked, but Miranda was there to explain what was happening. I couldn't help thinking that if I hadn't been there it was most likely that the poor woman had had a meltdown thinking the worst, she didn't have anyone else to explain her what was happening or what to expect and I must confess that it feels good, nobody explained to me many things that were happening with me and with my body during my pregnancies, with Ellis I had no one to share them with and although I know it was my decision I sometimes regret having kept everyone away from me.

One way or another Teddy is in the same situation, she doesn't have many people in Seattle who are there to support her or to listen to her and although in one way or another she has Owen, I know from her own voice that she doesn't feel comfortable around him. Maybe Owen doesn't understand this new found friendship between Teddy and me, I could tell when he saw me arrive with her, or rather, I noticed since I told him that Teddy wanted to talk to him and it isn't very difficult to guess the reason, but I know that Amelia doesn0t care and that gives me the confidence to continue with this friendship and I must say... I see many good things come from this.


	6. Chapter 6

_*****ENGLISH ISN'T MY LANGUAGE*****_

 _ **Hi guys, i know it's been ages, but I'm back! (Kind of)**_

 _ **I just wanted to let you know that I've had a lot of trouble keeping up with this fic, especially because of the lack of scenes between Teddy and Mer and also because for me has been REALLY hard to write Meredith,**_ ** _especially in the first person. It is for that reason that I've decided from now on to write the rest of the fic in the third person._**

 _ **I'm not entirely happy with it, it completely changes**_ ** _the essence_** _ **and tone of how the fic started, but it's the only way I can continue writing.**_ ** _I really hope you don't mind._**

 _ **It took me some work to write this**_ ** _and I'm fully aware that it's not exactly the best thing I've written,_** _ **but hopefully in the future it will be easier and better. Let me know what you think, your reviews always keep me going :)**_

* * *

 _ **I Can't Do This...**_

* * *

"Balloons, mom!" Exclaimed little Zola. "We need balloons, many, many balloons, pink and blue!"

"Of course we need them!" Meredith replied writing the item down on their shopping list for the small gender reveal party they were organizing for Teddy. It would be something small, in the park, only Mer, the children, Teddy and Owen who as soon as he knew, he wanted to join the celebration.

"And cake!" Little Bailey added.

"What's all this?" Maggie asked, confused when she entered the kitchen and saw Meredith and the children making the list.

"It's for a party, aunt Maggie!" Zola answered, enthusiastically.

"A party? Whose?"

"Oh, it's for Teddy". Meredith replied, smiling.

"Teddy? As in Teddy, Owen's baby mama?" Maggie asked, frowning.

"Yes, the same". Meredith replied, unconcerned by Maggie's facial expression. "So, what more do we need, children?"

"Candies and cookies". Little Ellis said, timidly.

"You're right, darling, we can't forget the candies and the cookies!"

"Can we bring ice cream?" Bailey asked.

"Yes! Teddy loves vanilla ice cream!" Zola added.

"Hmmm I don't know... ice cream would melt, but why not? we'll think of some way to bring ice cream". Meredith replied.

Meanwhile Maggie looked confused at all the action. She didn't understand how Meredith was organizing a party for Teddy when her sister, Amelia, was having so much trouble with Owen.

"Ok, ok, kids, can you give me a moment alone with your mom?" Maggie intervened. "I need to talk to her about something very important". Meredith looked at Maggie confused.

"Yes, auntie!" The children said in unison and left the kitchen leaving Meredith and Maggie alone.

"What do you want to talk about?" Meredith asked.

"What is all this, Meredith?!"

"Our plan for the party?" Meredith replied.

"Meredith, you're throwing a party for Teddy... which side are you on?"

Meredith looked at her frowning confused. "Side? I'm not on anyone's side. Teddy is my friend".

Maggie chuckled humorlessly. "Since when?! Mer, you can't do this to Amelia!"

"I'm not doing anything to Amelia! Maggie, you don't know what's really happening. The problems between Amelia and Owen go far beyond Teddy and I must say it doesn't surprise me, considering that she fled the day of her wedding".

"That was the product of her tumor and you know it!"

"Was it? Look, Maggie... I've known Teddy and Owen since long before I met Amelia. Teddy has been in Owen's life since long before Amelia even before Cristina, she is part of his life and now with a baby they will be together for life. Things are not going to change".

Maggie huffed and sat heavily on the chair. "I know, I know that Owen and Amelia are not exactly the most stable couple, but they were starting to work thing out, until Teddy came back. Amelia was so happy and now... "

"No Maggie, I'm sorry but Teddy has nothing to do with the problems that Owen and Amelia are now having. Her problems revolve around Betty and Leo; she has nothing to do with them. And what did you expect? You expected Teddy to never tell Owen about their child? If you think that it surprises me coming from you, Maggie".

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. It's just that I hate to see Amelia so… down".

"Me too, but in the end it's just the consequences of their actions. She decided to go back to Owen and stay with him before and after Teddy came back pregnant. She decided to take care of children who were not theirs, they knew that those children were not permanent in their lives... they knew what could happen".

"It sucks!"

"It does". Meredith replied, grimacing sympathetically, just at that moment the door of the house opened, Amelia had arrived with all her belongings. Immediately she went to the kitchen where her sisters were.

"Amelia, what happened?!" Maggie asked when she saw Amelia's watery eyes.

"Owen and I are done". Amelia answered. Meredith and Maggie shared a look.

Days later, the day of the party finally arrived. The children were ecstatic and Teddy and Owen were nervous to find out the sex of their baby.

"Ok, are you ready?!" Meredith asked, handing Teddy and Owen their respective smoke bombs and getting her camera ready to record video. The future parents nodded nervously, the children went to stand next to them.

"Come on Teddy, shoot it now!" Little Zola exclaimed, jumping excitedly.

"First the countdown, Zozo!" Meredith pointed. "Ready? 3… 2... 1!"

Teddy and Owen shot the bombs at the same time seeing themselves surrounded by a huge cloud of pink smoke.

"IT'S A GIRL!" The children shouted.

Owen hugged Teddy tightly lifting her off the ground and twirling her in the air making her laugh. "We are having a baby girl". Owen whispered in her ear.

Then Meredith approached her to hug her and both jumped with happiness. "A girl!" Meredith exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you. And thanks for all this, really, it's more than what I expected and what I deser—"

"Don't you dare say it's more than what you deserve!" Meredith warned her with her index finger smiling. "You deserve it Teddy, a baby is _always_ a cause for joy and celebration!"

Teddy smiled at Meredith and hugged her tightly again.

"Can we trade her when she's born for a boy?!" Little Bailey asked, making everyone laugh.

"Bailey!" Meredith exclaimed, laughing.

"Oh no, young boy. I want my baby girl". Owen said holding Teddy from behind, placing his hands on her baby bump and kissing her on the cheek. Immediately she slipped out of his arms feeling deeply uncomfortable. Meredith soon noticed.

"Come Teddy, we have more surprises for you and the baby!" Zola said, taking Teddy by the hand and taking her to see the rest of the gifts that she, her siblings and her mother had bought for Teddy and the baby, leaving Meredith and Owen alone.

"So... I see you still don't tell Teddy that Amelia and you've finished".

"I don't see why I should tell her". Owen answered, defensively.

"Well, maybe because she thinks you're in a relationship and out of nowhere you hug her and kiss her... making her uncomfortable, Owen. This day was supposed to be perfect and you made her uncomfortable and not only that, you are confusing her. Be honest with her, Owen". Meredith said turning around, realizing that Teddy had heard the little exchange between her and Owen.

"So you and Amelia are finished". Teddy said, emotionlessly.

"Teddy, I—" Owen began.

"Not, it's ok. I'm not interested in what you do with your love life". Teddy interrupted and then turned around and went to join the children, pretending she was okay when deep down she wanted to cry, but the company of the little ones was so distracting and warmed her heart so much that she preferred to focus on them and forget for a moment Owen and all their drama.

"Teddy, you forgot to open this gift!" Bailey exclaimed, jumping up and down, handing her a gift box with a huge blue bow.

"Oh yeah, let's see what we have here!" Teddy opened the box and inside was a white stuffed rabbit.

"Do you like it?!" The boy asked, with a huge smile.

Teddy looked at him biting her lips to avoid crying, but it was useless, her emotions were already out of control, then finding out that she would have a baby girl, then about Owen and Amelia, then all the love she was receiving from Meredith and the children, all the accumulation only made her emotions to burst.

Quickly wiping away a couple of tears, Teddy hugged the rabbit. "I love it, and I'm sure she will love it too". She said, rubbing her rounded baby bump.

"I wanted it to be a boy". Bailey said, with a pout.

"Maybe later you can have another baby that is a boy!" Zola added, innocently.

"Maybe". Teddy responded, just to keep up with the kids.

The rest of the afternoon Meredith and Teddy played with the children while Owen saw them all sitting from a bench.

"They ended because of me, didn't they?" Teddy asked Meredith as she helped her collect all the trash from the little party before leaving the park.

"No Teddy, I assure you it wasn't for you!" Meredith assured her.

"Look, I know that Amelia is your sister and that you love her and I don't want you to feel between a rock and a hard place, you don't have to take sides, Amelia is your sister and I... I can't do this".

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked, confused.

"I don't know if I can be around you and the kids with Amelia there. I couldn't even see her in the face!"

"You're not saying we can't see each other anymore because Amelia and Owen are over, isn't it?"

"Meredith... I thank you infinitely for everything you've done for me since I came back, you and the children have been the only thing that has kept me sane in these last weeks. You didn't have to do any of this and yet you did it and my life won't be enough to thank you, but I can't do this..." Teddy said, in a broken voice. "I can't keep bringing problems to the people around me so... this is for the best... again, thank you very much and please... say goodbye to the children". She finished putting the last bag of garbage in the trash can, took her bag and without looking at the children, Meredith or Owen left the place walking as fast as she could, crying.

"Mommy, Mommy Teddy is leaving!" Little Zola shouted as Teddy walked away from them.

"Where is she going?!" Bailey asked. "She's forgetting her gifts!"

"Meredith, what happened?!" Owen intervened.

"Children, help me put all the gifts together, okay? We'll get them to Teddy, she had to go because of an emergency".

"Meredith, what happened?!" Owen insisted.

"She left, she doesn't want to be around us anymore, she doesn't want to keep causing problems". Meredith answered, hopelessly.

"What? She isn't causing problems!"

"That's what I tried to tell her, but she's too stubborn, you know her better than me".

"I have to reach her; I have to talk to her!"

"Owen, no. Leave her alone, give her space, all this is too much for her and right now her emotions are out of control and she sees things bigger than they really are... let's wait for her to come back to us".

"She won't. I know her, she won't do it unless someone talks to her to do it and those would be you or me, so no, she won't come back to us".

"Then leave it to me. I'll talk to her, but tomorrow, now we have to give her some space".

Owen nodded resignedly.

Back home, Teddy went directly to her bedroom to lie down and cry in bed. She regretted her decision so much, she regretted the moment she turned around and walked away from Meredith and the children, but everything was finished, she really wanted to stop causing so much havoc in her path. Maybe returning to Seattle was the worst thing she could've done, maybe she should've told Owen, but stay in Germany, that way if there was havoc she wouldn't be there to witness, to feel the accusatory stares.

"Maybe it's better to go back to Germany". With this thought Teddy fell asleep…


End file.
